Day 16: The Love of a King by Peter Dainty

Today, as inspiration, I chose a describing word and then put it before the word, "book" and search-engined it. I chose the word dainty. And this is what came up. This is not exactly what I was hoping for but sure it'll do.

It'll do for today, but not as a book cover. This is like catching your Mum and Dad sneaking a kiss. Everything about this cover seems wrong. Too wrong to even write about. Whatchu lookin' at?!

The only Arkfull thing in this book is the colour. Anybody who is anybody know's orange is the new metro man's pink. Will you be wearing it this S/S '13?

I wish not to talk about this book cover nor care for the word dainty anymore. I shall refuse to put it in front of anything else from now on.

Day 15: Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion

#selfies #selfiequeen #ootd #pretty #cute #iphoneonly #picoftheday

Hai guize it's a selfie of Joan and I! This is a great book cover. This book cover is basically the inspiration of Ana Wintour ala Vogue at every fashion show in existence. See http://goo.gl/vQ8nFs. Quickly followed by Andre Leon Talley. Now see http://goo.gl/DCbEkf. Das real talk.

It's piercing, chic, and memorable. The sunglasses and the face as the focal point fascinates me from the moment I set eyes on this cover. Even the title of the book, Slouching Towards Bethlehem captures my attention.

The only thing that I would criticise (who me? never) is the little blocks of text and content here and there. Particularly the title in the orange smudge and the FSG Classic logo in the other orange smudge. Isn't smudge just a fantastic word? It seems busy to me and I don't like busy. There I said it.

Is it Joan or isn't it?! How intriguing.

Day 14: How To Boil An Egg by J. Arkless

This book cover is super legit. I only hope it's not about actually cooking eggs. Ok but actually it is, hence the smaller heading, simple cookery for one. They simply should have left that out.

There are some pretty cool elements to this book. One of the coolest is the author's name. J. Arkless has a bit of a funky ring to it. Does Arkless mean anything? I just google searched it. "In which Scrabble dictionary does Arkless exist?" Scrabble US/Canada? No. Scrabble UK? No. Official Scrabble OSPD? No. WordFeud? No. Words with friends? No. Hanging with friends? No. Letterpress? No. Lexulous US? No.

Interesting. This obviously means we have full and uninhibited permission to come up with an appropriate definition and meaning to the word, Arkless. In it's literal meaning, Arkless is not having the ship built by Noah to save his family and two of every animal from the Flood, aka Noah's Ark.

But that would be too obvious. Arkless, as I imagine it, is an emotion. Displaying a complete lack of feeling or consideration to being coool. 

Howzat? Does that work? Huh, what? Yessss.

Also apparently all eggs are French chefs. Now that's Arkfull.

Day 13: The Experts' Guide to 100 Things Everyone Should Know How To Do by Samantha Ettus

I'm figuring out how to upload my blog off my iPhone. So far so good. However I can't make any promises about the quality of this content. The judgement on today's book cover would fare a lot better if it included iPhone "how to's."

This book cover is not short and not sweet. The background is interesting but that's probably where it ends. You can't see it in the image but one of the first how to's is how to make a bed. Ah doi...

This is a typical how to, what to, where to, why to, when to, etcetera book cover. I would pick this book up and put it down again in a second. The only book that teaches anyone anything is obviously the Harry Potter series. Doi.

The only thing this books tells anyone is to not go further than it's cover.

Day 12: Skippyjon Jones by Judy Schachner

I like cats. I like this cover. I would like to read this book.

Skippyjon Jones must be the smartest cat in the world. And the cutest, and the funnest, and probably also the funniest. He's on a book cover! And he's a cat. I feel I must explain to you why I'm drawn to this particular cover. However I feel more inclined to tell you why I love cats so much in general. Alas, I will stick to the task at hand.

The imagery evokes painfully cute connotations of sweetness, playfulness and fluff. His brightest of blue eyes simply pierces the heart. And he is sitting in a pot plant that's at least twice his size. Now I don't know what that means, but it's gotta be something good. I think it's absolutely clever the way Judy has written her name on it. The colours are soft and comfortable, seemingly as is Skippyjon's demeanour and name.

There's just the right amount of everything on this page. And everything on this book is appropriate for the type of book this is, a light-hearted autobiography.

Day 11: Lamb by Christopher Moore

This book cover packs a mo'fuckin punch. "The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal" - everything I need to know, and you need to know, is in that line. Without a doubt, Moore is an absolute genius. Simply from the title, the font, the colour, and the name, "Biff." Seriously, lol.

Is this even a book? I'm half hoping to open it and find it hollowed out, a pretend book, some clever place to keep your trinkets.

Does this book have small print, strongly suggesting readers go to church afterwards? Surely this is blasphemy in the highest of its forms. It should probably also have a foreword saying, "proceed with an open-mind."

But actually, this book cover doesn't need to change a thing.

Day 10: I Will Give Them One More Shot by George Winston Martin

Hey mates, we're a tenth of a way through the 100 day challenge! Now that definitely deserves a pat on the back. 10 days of judgement on purpose however, hmm, I will leave that achievement (?) unannounced.

Now this, this is a book cover. Old boy George Winston Martin you have really outdone yourself. You have got my attention. I would make an effort to tell people I was reading a book called, "I Will Give Them One More Shot," just to say it out loud.

I'd hold the book right up to my face when reading so that when anyone looked my way they got staunch mate staring right back at them.

The colours aren't that great, however, they're stuck on a wall somewhere in a middle-class Connecticut family home. Boo-ring. And he should be wearing red.