Day 44: My First Little Boob Job by Bob Staak

This is really cute! I stumbled across these books on an advanced Google search. This illustrated series, "Satire, Humor and Visual Parody of Classic Children’s Books From the 1940s Through 1960s," are the classic children’s books that have been hijacked by illustrator Bob Staak. Described as subversive, disturbed, twisted, but full of humor! these book covers definitely made me look twice. I had to have them on here. I suppose it's because they're just SO wrong. And yet I can't help myself from laughing uncontrollably. At every single image. I'm currently favouriting the site so I can send the link in an appropriate work email to my colleagues tomorrow. This probably makes me look bad. Upon scrolling through this series I found I had actually stumbled upon a cover that I am all too familiar with! Check it: http://tinyurl.com/qebev4z. Once again we find ourselves questioning my moral compass. Let me know if you laughed as much as I did.

Day 43: Into The Child by Shannon Bradley-Colleary

This title packs a punch. Probably because I'm 24 years old and nowhere near having children. Is that sad? I have friends having kids and I'm literally over here watching Will & Grace re-runs in bed. What.

The words, "child," "gestational," and "wilderness," in the same sentence doesn't really bring it home for me. And we all know 40 weeks means 9 months. Let's not try and get tricky about it. Let's not make the pregnant reader think more than they need to. Isn't being pregnant enough for you.

I do appreciate the difference in cover than one would usually see when browsing traditional pregnancy-themed self-help books. It's definitely a step-up from your traditional cartoon drawn Father, Mother, Baby triangle. Although, isn't it a bit offensive. She's pregnant and wearing a mask, like she needs to hide it. Just because pregnancy turns your cheerful, delightful and even-tempered partner into the devil's right-hand man, doesn't mean we need to go about advertising it. Right? Or do we? Do I need to trick someone into having a child with me? Is that how this works?

Please don't send me hate mail about how you think I'm unappreciative of pregnancy, and pregnant woman, and the miracle of childbirth. I get it. I hope to look back at this and laugh at how stupid I was.

I'm flattering myself in the above comment. I only have one follower.

Day 42: The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever: Asshole Leper Hero by Stephen R. Donaldson

I know that all I'm supposed to be doing is judging the cover of books and not what's inside them, but damn son! The title has got me like oh my god i'm so in love I've found you finally you make me wanna go oh oh... (Usher ft. Will.I.Am., 2010). Especially since I googled the premise and I really like what I see. Oops. What is even better is coming across the comments people leave in the comment section, providing there is one. And I've stumbled across some beauties:

"This series is somewhat infamous: it's widely regarded as brilliant (which it is), it's widely considered depressing (which it can be), the hero is often unappealing (which is the point), and many find the trilogy at least 25% too long (which is true). Plus, the follow-on trilogy tells almost the same story with almost the same point to it." (Thanks Seth from San Fran.)

Lol. And:

"...Thomas Covenant is the world's most miserable, gloomy, wretched, irritating, hateful, abhorrent, despicable, contemptible, disheartening, forlorn, self pitying excuse for a (make believe) human being it's ever been my misfortune to read about. (view spoiler) I was pretty much done with him. I read this trilogy with a group of friends so finished them. I'm more careful about what I commit to in group reads now. Do you get the idea? I HATE these books. if you don't, well good for you. But you need a good, really good attitude to read this tomb errr, I mean tome, consisting of Thomas Covenant's self centered misery. Maybe you could consider a therapist????? I reviewed this a while back, but I want to update it. I want to include a quote from Dorothy Parker I've used before: "This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force." (Good day, Mike the Paladin)

And this is probably the best:

"THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SPOILAGE UP THE YING-YANG." (Cheers Szplug!)

That's not a review but I like it and I hope to one day use it.

Day 41: Quilt in a Day: Still Stripping After 25 Years by Eleanor Burns

"Oh my days," "What the shit," For God's sake," "Oh Lord," "Shit the bed," "I die," are all of the expressions I have indeed exclaimed, out loud, when I saw this book cover. I also half giggled and half winced at the same time. Half giggling and half wincing is hard and also ugly, I recommend not doing this at home kids, try it some time.

Eleanor, what were you thinking? You were not thinking! I mean kudos to getting a book out there. But a few things should have been re-considered well before its publishing date. A few questions have conveniently popped straight to mind. And even more conveniently a few answers have also popped straight to mind. In no particular order:

1. What's our wardrobe options? We'll consider option A, B, and C but we'll scrap those and take you off the cover. 
2. Do you want to go with this title? Let me answer this with a question: do you want people to think you're a veteran stripper?

Oh wow. I have nothing more to say. That can be in a public forum anyway. 

Day 40: Bukowski for Kids by Black Sparrow Press

I love this cover! Half of the reason why is because I am attracted to the work of Charles Bukowski, the other half is because look at their cute little faces. And the other half is because I have read Green Eggs and Ham on Rye. 

Little boys and little girls should probably not have their chubby, wubby, grubby little hands on anything Charles Bukowski has. Reactions, as illustrated above, are guaranteed. I didn't even know there was such a thing as Bukowski for Kids, wait are we sure it is actually a thing? Dis gotta be a joke?

I have come up with a series of titles that Bukowski could have worked with in his children's series. In alphabetical order: 

1. Cloudy With a Chance of Rum 
2. Green Eggs and Hash on Rye
3. The Very Horny Caterpillar
4. Where the Rash Things Are

I did a judge of Green Eggs and Ham on Rye a little while back. Check it: http://tinyurl.com/metfwu8.

Day 39: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button by F. Scott Fitzgerald

My memory escapes me as to why I chose this book cover. I will find out. Please hold the line, caller.

Ok so I went on a hunt, not a treasure one unfortunately, but a hunt nevertheless and found this. (Who even knows what I was looking for). Please see: http://tinyurl.com/n46bhz7. I think this may be the original cover. Help? And again my memory has failed me as to why I didn't indeed choose the original over the above. If I were to hazard a guess I would say it's because of the mint green background. Damn you pastel colours. You beautiful, beautiful pastel colours.

That is all I will say about the cover because I would like to move onto more pressing issues. Those being Brad Pitt's face. See: http://tinyurl.com/d96jdtm

Originally published in a collection of short stories in 1922, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, is now an accomplished Box Office hit! High chances it's because of Brad Pitt's beautifully symmetrical face.

Have I mentioned Brad Pitt yet? Why didn't they stick his face on this beautiful pastel background? I fail to see a reason as to why.

Cate Blanchett was in this movie as well, by the way.

Day 38: Russh Magazine

So it looks like I'm continuing with the creepy inclusion of my body parts in the cover shots. Whatever.

Russh is an Australian magazine publication and from what I can gather this is what they're all about:

"RUSSH is an independent fashion magazine showcasing innovators in fashion, art, music and film through originally produced editorial and photography. RUSSH reflects the way intelligent women approach fashion and beauty to create their own distinctive style. RUSSH is Australian at heart, international in mindset."

Ok so I stole all that from the website. Whatever. They're a fashion, high fashion (said in some sort of accent) magazine. What else do you need to know. 

I'm biased towards these covers. Gimme sass, style and sophistication any day. I'm a real sucker for these magazines with their thick GSM pages, glossy images, and clothes I can only dream of owning. From memory I needed to take out a personal loan just to even buy this magazine. 

Alas, I'll leave you with this pearl of wisdom. Dreams are free.